girls against boys – then against now
the irreplaceables
Somewhere between 2005 and 2008, I watched my seven closest friends move farther away than I can afford to travel. One by one they married, accepted new jobs and are flourishing in their new worlds just as I am in mine. Yet, there is a part of my heart still longing for the breakfasts, road-trips, wardrobes, cosmetic tutorials, funny dances, over-the-top parties, coffee chats, and spiritual accountability that those girls brightened my life with.
Don’t get me wrong, Dave is a phenomenal provider, emotionally and physically. He makes me smile like no one can, he knows what will make me laugh hysterically, and he tenderly challenges me to grow. But as many married women have learned, my husband isn’t my girlfriend. He most likely (I know this isn’t true for everyone) doesn’t enjoy bargain shopping, picnics, beach-combing, or hearing how what’s-her-face hurt my feelings.
Someone smart once noted that guys are about the destination while girls are about the journey. How true. Guys are instinctively achievement-driven problem solvers who respond accordingly when their female counterparts present them with feelings. Unfortunately, we wives know that we divulge our innermost feelings not to find solutions, but just in hopes that someone will understand why we feel as we do.
That is where girlfriends come in. Girls love sitting face to face, sharing how anything and everything makes them feel. We offer each other just the right kind of encouragement, providing deeply desired justification that soothes girly emotions.
I am blessed with a handful of awesome girls with whom I can do lunches and double-dates. However, I know that the days of sharing rooms, wardrobes, vacations, and tears are behind me now and that the bond those experiences created won’t easily be achieved on lunches and double-dates.
I guess this is all part of growing up, much like saying goodbye to my favorite pants that I know I will never fit into again. Girlfriends give way to husbands, which make way for children, which add an entirely new dynamic to life. I suppose it’s all part of the journey that I so enjoy.
Hmmm…
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
